A Christian
man’s walk with God is not the easy path.
Sometimes you must make sacrifices… sacrifices you may not want to make,
all for a belief that is, at best, difficult to comprehend. Following Christ is not simple,
because Christ is not simple.
Ultimately, our acceptance of Christ as the Son of God and belief that
He died for all our sins may be simple on the surface. In fact, most Christians actually stop there,
because that is really all that is required of us to achieve everlasting life
with God in Heaven. I’m not so vain that
I don’t include myself in that mix. But
if you really get into it, the entire message of the bible, going beyond this
simple requirement and into the philosophy and science of the existence of God
and Jesus, it becomes mind boggling because it is incomprehensible to us mere
mortals.
image from http://www.universetoday.com/82814/universe-image-gallery/ |
Many
of my journal entries concerning my walk with God are merely my
attempts at studying and contemplating God’s existence in the universe, and
outside of it. In the arts, it is
Science Fiction that actually comes the closest to offering parallels for what
God may actually be like, especially stories that focus on other realms of
existence outside of this physical realm with its linear, unchanging
timeline. And so, in my journal, I used
a few examples from the world of Sci-Fi as sources in a chance to explore the
very nature and existence of God, past, present, future, and in all His various
forms, including that of the Son of Man. See my posts linked here and here.
I
also examined this world He created; its physical construct and the laws
imposed upon it by God, and the laws operating within this universe and
galaxy. It is a very naturalistic stage
that God has made for us here, complete with rigid physical laws of time and
space and cause and effect that on the surface don’t seem to leave too much
room for things such as free will and choice.
A world of cause and effect alone is actually a world so ruled by the
natural law that it, in fact, follows a strict and unaltered path that could be
defined as predeterminism and fate. Not
that the Christian view is much different where predeterminism and fate are
concerned, for the book of Revelations alone seems to have this view of
unchangeable linear time. After all,
prophets cannot really see into the future if it has not already been set. See my post linked here and here.
So
with this inflexible, predetermined structure in both the secular and Christian
view of things, where does God fit?
Well, I believe He does fit, in two ways: First, God Himself exists outside of this
structured world, and so does Satan and all the angels and demons of heaven and
hell, and all are able to manipulate this unyielding cause and effect world. I also believe that since God made us with
for a purpose, having to do with choosing right over wrong, that we can also
rise above and manipulate this cause and effect world by the spiritual choices
we make. Secondly, although God knows
our futures, we do not, and He Himself does not impose those futures upon
us. Our choice is still our choice. It’s just that since God exists outside the
timeline, He can see all points on the timeline – past, present, and future -
as if they were happening now, but that doesn’t mean our choices are not free
will, only that God can see all choices of everybody at once. Our future still unfolds before us as a
mystery, which is the way God designed it.
The thing that makes it so confusing is that it looks like something
completely different depending on whose viewpoint you see it from. From our viewpoint, it is free-will, while
from God’s viewpoint, it may appear as predetermined fate. But no matter how you look at choice, from
our viewpoint or God’s, I still believe that God does give us choice,
and that is something that can only truly exist if free will also exists. In essence, it is our immortal souls that
allow us to rise above the constraints of this physical cause and effect
universe. Our physical bodies and the
synapses and electrical impulses of our minds that give thought are things of
this physical world, but our souls are of and for another existence beyond this
one. See my post linked here.
The rest of my walk
with God this year would fall into the realm of prayer, as I apologized for
sin, and asked for God’s guidance, understanding, love, and forgiveness. I think I should be closer to God than I am,
but I could probably say that about everybody on this planet. Although some are definitely closer to God than
I am, and some are farther away, either knowingly or unknowingly, all I need to
worry about is me, and I know I need to be closer than I am. In other words, I want Jesus to say to me,
“Good job, good and faithful son,” but instead, if I go just by my walk with
Him so far, it’s a good chance that He will instead say, “Boy, talk about just
squeaking by!” Either that or I’ll get
that shocking news that Christ warns about from the New Testament, when He
says, “You proclaimed Me with your lips, but not your heart. I don’t know who you are,” and He’ll throw me
into the darkness where I will join those weeping and gnashing their teeth,
wondering why I wasn’t a better Christian.
Certainly, I believe that Jesus is really my Lord and Savior, so my name
should be in the Book of Life; yet I still sin, and question sometimes, and I
don’t do what I should, and I could do so much more. I don’t know if this is merely excusable
human weakness or something that I could be better about rising above, with
help from the Holy Spirit. The thing is,
I shouldn’t be a better Christian for a selfish reason of wanting eternal life
in heaven – that’s not the right way to follow Christ either! I should be a better Christian out of love
for Christ and my neighbors, and not because it will earn a spot in heaven, or
keep me from just barely squeaking by or burning in hell. This year, I’ve learned that the true path to
heaven isn’t anything selfish at all, but rather the complete opposite: Loving unconditionally, and putting God and
others before yourself. See my post linked here.
From my journal, Year Review: My Walk with God, 1999
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