For the Family: My 1999 Journal Year End Wrap Up

As I've said many times in this blog this year, I've been writing in a journal for over a decade now.  On the weekends, I've been posting on this blog some of the new things I've written in my journal, but in the middle of the week, I've actually been posting some old stuff from 1999.  This is the year end wrap up I wrote about what was going on with the family, and so, this particular blog post is a trip down memory lane for them and me (with a bit of introspection and life philosophy thrown in for good measure).  I don't usually share stuff about the family in my blog because it's personal, and it's kind of like looking at someone else's home movies; boring for people who aren't in the family (and maybe even boring for those who are!).  By the same token, a little bit every now and then can be fun, especially for those who lived it, as we remember the times we spent together.  

I spent a lot of time in my journal this year getting down on myself, without seeming to solve any of my problems.  I started out writing about new poems I’ve written and the fun I have singing Karaoke (see my post linked here).  That’s followed by months and months of soul searching, not liking who I am, but doing little to change myself (see my post linked here).  Towards the end of the year, things picked up a little as I spent fewer pages berating myself.  I believe self-esteem to be the key to solve the problems I have with myself.  I’m 35, yet the future still stands before me like a huge, scary monster… (see my blog post linked here)

     But if I would only build confidence in myself and my abilities, and really examine what I truly love, then the future doesn’t have to be scary.  In fact, it could be pleasing, enjoyable, exciting, and I could be happy and content with the life I lead, as long as I love myself and who I am.  Right now the future looks scary and hard, and a lot of work, but I should find that isn’t the case as the future becomes the present or the past, and I come to realize I’ve achieved my desired goals.  If I had it all to do over again, I probably would have really enjoyed acting, I think, or singing, or writing, or cartooning, or graphic arts of some kind…something in the arts.  That’s where my passion lies.  The one thing I have always consistently loved to do was to write.  That’s the reason why I’ve filled two whole journals with writing in just a single year!  Maybe I should be a writer already, or should have become one a long time ago.  But here’s one thing to consider:  These journals show that I am a writer now, perhaps even a “real” writer (whatever the hell that means!), and perhaps even a good writer; just not a published writer.

     And at the very end of the year, I finally started laying the groundwork to get my nose fixed!  My regular doctor referred me to an ear, nose, and throat specialist, who scheduled me for a CAT scan and a surgery.  The CAT scan revealed my nose to be a pussy, twisted mess!  He believes surgery will relieve my nasal suffering.  Thank the Lord!!! [It didn’t take]

Our big family camping trip that year close to Estes Park

     As with any year, several of the things we did this year involved most, if not all, of the family, such as our big camping trip this summer up at the putrid Olive Ridge campground by Estes Park (see my post linked here), or attending a Rockies game with Scott and Terry and the gang from ConferTech.  Terry, Scott and I also went through a lot of grief when we rented a U-Haul truck to move stuff from the Rose Tea Room to Scott and Angie’s garage in a situation I’ve labeled “The U-Haul Incident.”  There were also the opportunities throughout the rest of the year that allowed us to get together for celebration.  Most of them were fun, like our trip to Anderson Farms this year to get Halloween pumpkins (we got tons of great pictures of everybody!).

Brittany, Jessa, Brielle, and Mom

     In November, everybody in Kim’s and Terry’s families got MAJOR colds and infections, plus Mom and I.  I missed a week of work!  I was kind of worried about Mom when her cold became bronchitis!

     I love Mom very much, and I’m glad she got to go on several vacations this year.  In March, she went to Arizona with some friends Tom and Judy, who dropped her off on their way through so Mom could spend some time with her sister Colleen and Colleen’s family.  She really cherished her time with them!  In June, Mom got to go to Las Vegas with some of her friends from her bowling league.  That particular vacation ended on a sour note when Mom’s friend Marilyn booked them all in some sleazy, second-rate, seedy, fleabag motel, and the two other women, Rose and Judy, changed hotels, which upset Marilyn.  To keep the peace, Mom stayed at the sleazy dive with Marilyn, even though it scared and repulsed her!  Also, Mom’s cousin Margaret and Margaret’s husband Greg stopped by for a weekend in June, and I know Mom was happy to see them.  Mom deserves some happiness, and one of my favorite times with her this year was watching her go through her packed Christmas stocking, and open the book I made of all my poetry, Of Mind and Emotion.  I also got Mom a new microwave for Christmas, a television for the kitchen on her birthday, which she moved to her bedroom, and Mom bought herself a new VCR for the TV in the living room.  I enjoyed ending the year with her as we had a quiet millennium celebration with some homemade Bloody Marys.

     Scott and Angie had a pretty busy year.  Scott wound up buying three computers and I helped him finance two of them.  He keeps complimenting me on my emotional and thoughtful writing.  He really flatters me and tells me he thinks I’m very intelligent!  Boy, what that does for me!  I think he really respects me, and that leaves me feeling amazed and flabbergasted, and also, to be truthful, undeserving of all that respect, as my low self-esteem rears its ugly head.  Perhaps that is why he finally decided against pursuing that Amway pyramid business scam at the beginning of the year:  Because everybody warned him, including myself and Terry (who really ripped into the guy who was trying to induct Scott), and maybe Scott really values our opinions!  Mom and I spent time with Scott and Angie this year for Easter Egg decorating (where I took some horrible, horrible pictures!) and for Christmas Eve.  We also attended several functions, including a father/daughter dance with Scott and Brittany as part of an extended show at Loretta Heights College for the dance academy Brittany is enrolled in.

     Also, Angie’s Rose Tea Room on Grandview was bought by new owners, who did quite a bit of restoration.  Yet it is still not a money-maker for them.  That’s just too bad, because she works so hard at decorating tables and making food and making it a pleasant dining experience for those who enter her door!  As for Scott and Angie’s kids, I barely saw hide nor hair of Michael, and I still wonder if he liked the George Forman Lean Mean Grillin’ Machine I got him for Christmas last year.

     I’m worried about Jason a little bit because he’s into some things that I find to be negative indoctrinating influences from the far left liberal media.  Jason’s fascination with the likes of Limp Bizkit, Kid Rock, Korn, violent video games, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer have me bothered; in today’s culture, I get that this onslaught of violence, sex, and antisocialism is nearly impossible to resist, especially when you factor in the overwhelming influence of peer pressure (see my post linked here).

Alex and Jason

     Alex does his own thing.  The irony is that while most teens demand on exercising their individuality and uniqueness, the fact of the matter is that they actually end up conforming to a group, while the true individuals, like Alex, are usually ostracized by their peers for being too different!  Alex’s year actually started out really bad when he was diagnosed with diabetes, poor kid (see my post linked here)!  Everybody showered him with attention and gifts, and he went with our large group this year to the Boulder Dinner Theater to see Man of La Mancha.  I really enjoyed the plays of Greek and Roman mythologies that Alex’s class performed this year, and when that class graduated from the sixth grade at a school dinner, there wasn’t a dry eye to be found on the any of the students or the teacher!

     I’m really, really glad I got to spend some time with Brittany this year.  She’ll be a teenager soon and will soon be into all the things teenagers are into, as well she should!  This last summer, I spent some time with her and had fun reading aloud with her the first eleven chapters of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; but alas, we never did finish the book and may not finish it in the future either.  I sincerely doubt we will.  I also remember having a heart to heart with her about liberals and conservatives, in terms a child could understand, so that she could really know why Scott didn’t like certain people, like Barbara Streisand.  She really surprised me when she grasped the concepts and understood.  At her birthday, I read aloud the poem I wrote her “You’re All That!”  I hope she liked it!

     Jacob needs some real tough love, so that his character will be strengthened and he can start learning how to survive as an adult, and take pride in accomplishments, own his mistakes, and enjoy the responsibility and respect he would earn from others and himself by being dependable.  For Jacob to grow up, he needs to be taught, and to understand mature concepts, including integrity, pride, and self-sacrifice.  Right now, Jacob tends to act on impulse without thinking about or understanding the consequences for his actions, but with persistence and a guiding hand, I believe that he could achieve some serious insight.

     Terry and I weren’t really getting along at the beginning of the year.  It wasn’t until March when he asked if I would attend a hunting class with him that things started getting better.  I had a blast in that hunting class, not because the class was something I desired, but because of Terry.  I think we became friends again (see my post linked here).  In April, I went with Terry and family to the Denver Museum of Natural History for their prehistoric exhibit for one of Heather’s school assignments.  Terry and I found a subject worthy of sarcasm:  The Theory of Evolution (see my post linked here)!  He also invited me to Pomona’s production of Guys and Dolls.  I just love live theater! 

     In May, Terry, his father-in-law Dick, and myself almost died in a traffic accident on Mother’s Day when we were headed back to Dick’s house with some buckets of chicken for everyone.  Some guy in a red convertible merged into Terry’s lane without checking to see if Terry or anybody was already there.  Terry ended up swerving over several lanes in an attempt to avoid him, and it’s a miracle nobody got hurt when his car spun around facing traffic!  It was very scary!  We celebrated our birthday at the Spaghetti Factory and a jazz bar called Enoteca that nobody really cared much for, except Terry, and maybe Brian Jewsbury.  At the end of the year, I spent time with Terry and family at Lakeside’s Nickel Day and also had Thanksgiving dinner with them, besides our usual Friday night movies.  I love them, and that includes Darece, of course!  She is so loving and has been so good for Terry!

Shannon's daughter Lexie and Emily Rose at Lakeside

     Emily Rose is so sweet and cute and adorable…until she gets angry, and then, watch out!  Sweet Heather turned seventeen and caught a mild case of the “Curse of the Teenage Attitude!”  In years to come, she will look back on that home with fondness.  Right now, as a teenager, she wants so desperately to assert her independence, and along with that, some control over her own life, and to believe that the choices she makes are the right choices.  Even if they are not, she needs to believe that they are.  She wants to be able to say, “I know what I’m doing,” without Terry and Darece countering with a “No you don’t.”  Only in later years can she admit Terry and Darece were right, but not now.  That’s how the teenage game is played, and how teenagers gain their independence.  However flawed they may be, they cannot see themselves that way, or they lose that independence.  The solution is independence without flaws.  Unfortunately, teenagers are too often not thinking clearly about the choices they make, and usually make decisions about their lives and future based on popularity and peer pressure.  I know she will mature and see the error of her teenage ways.  I love Heather very much, and for her birthday this year, I spent hours and hours on the computer making her a homemade card.  This was also the year Heather got her first job, bagging groceries at King Soopers, and she also learned to drive.  These are the two things that offer teens their first real taste of independence:  Money and wheels.

     Now, I didn’t really do a whole lot with Kim and her family until the Summer, when the girls had their birthday parties and Jessa graduated from pre-K.  Jessa’s grandpa Ron rented pony rides for Jessa’s birthday and everyone had fun, although we had to coax Emily Rose for an hour.  Once we finally got her on a pony, we couldn’t get her off!

Pony Rides!  First, Jessa and Troy, then Brielle with Kim and Troy, then Emily and Terry.

     Troy spent time this year renovating his basement, the same thing Scott was doing out of absolute necessity!  In September, Mom, Kim, and I had fun when we went bowling together, and we also had a picnic at the spot in the mountains above Central City where we had spread Dad’s ashes. 

Troy and Kim with Brielle and Jessa, Mom and me.

      I also had a lot of fun for Troy and Kim’s double birthday celebration at the Chop House and Sing Sing, but not as much fun later when we went to that overcrowded Polyesters.  Towards the end of the year, Kim was starting to get depressed about work and began a project of doing Memory Album pages for Angie and Darece for Christmas that Kim said was good therapy for her.  You’d know I couldn’t refuse when she asked for my help, even though I was trying to complete my poetry book.  I love to picture crop.  Kim was also depressed about her eyes, because her doctor told her she has a condition called Myopic Degeneration, which could eventually lead to blindness (hopefully in the far, far future, if ever).  I told Kim not to give up hope, and pointed out that the technology that saved Jessa’s life when she was born with twisted intestines didn’t exist 20 years ago.

     For the most part, Jessa and Brielle seem to be developing rather normally, and I’ll credit Troy and Kim’s parenting.

     Now for the in-laws and neighbors:

     Angie’s sister Jenny had her baby Isabella.

     Darece’s sister Donnell had a nightmare of a year.  Her daughter Stephanie started seeing some guy named Andy, but her other daughter Shannon showed up in November wanting her children back.  Donnell’s ex-husband Robby caused trouble for Donnell in August when he broke into the Tea Room and trashed the place, stealing money from the register.  He was caught and sentenced to jail.

     I like both of Darece’s sisters, Dana and Donnell.  I find Dana’s daughter Amber to be a very loving person, and I think her husband Brian is cool.  I find myself admiring him and his talents.  I can see he has some of the same passions that I do, including music and theater, and with real talent himself; all this, plus he’s a devoted man of God.  I only wish I could sing like he can.

Brian and Amber

     Then there was Troy’s parents Ron and Lonne who divorced, which has been really hard on Troy.

     As for the neighbors, Virginia Smith suffered from some form of stroke, the Geiskiengs moved out and some guy named Norm moved in, and Arlene’s daughter Jolene had a baby boy named Devon.

     Another year gone by in a continuing family soap opera – These are the Days of Our Lives…