Karaoke and Diabetes

I'm not sure how I'll work this blog yet.  Going back over my journals, there is a lot I've written that other people might like to see or read, even the old, old stuff.  A co-worker of mine was so interested, she read stuff over a decade old, and loved it!

I think what I'll do is to pick something old in the middle of the week to post, something I really liked from my old journals, and work my way through them, and then to pick something a little more fresh and relevant to post on the weekends.


And so, what I'll post right now is this old entry from January of 1999, back when I first started writing these journals into my computer (and making them easy to just copy and paste).  Of course, I don't want to share names, at least not yet, so I've changed family names to designations, like "brother" and "nephew".  In this month, I talked about my love of singing, even though others don't seem to want to hear it (and have collective amnesia when I point out the times they liked it, such as in this entry, which I can guarantee my family would not remember all these years later), and this was also the month my nephew was first diagnosed with diabetes, and I wrote about how I felt about it:

In elementary school, the music teacher wouldn’t let me be in the choir because my voice was too low.  My mom thought it was such a rip-off, and I wasn’t too happy either!  My friend got in, even though he had a deep voice, because he could play drums.  I remember Mom feeling sorry for me when we would sit in the audience while all my classmates and friends were on stage, and I would mouth the words, and wish... I loved music, but everybody’s words and actions always told me that I was not a singer!

It didn’t get any better later when I joined choir in Junior High.  It was almost as if I was being forced to sing in keys that did not feel natural.  It was too exacting, and helped to reinforce the notion that I was not cut out for singing.  In later years, all of this taken together didn’t do much for my self-esteem, and actually had me believing I really do sound like a frog.

Then came Karaoke!  Of course, the first few times we did Karaoke, I was too scared to try.  I started with group songs, like our comical version of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.”  The first I ever did on my own was “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley, figuring it would be a good one for me to start out on since Rick Astley’s voice is deeper, like mine.  I did pretty well, especially considering it was my first time.

However, I suffered a curse afterwards, not realizing that doing pretty good the first time made me overconfident and cocky.  Subsequent attempts to sing produced horrendous versions of “Lifestyles of the Not So Rich and Famous” by Tracy Byrd and “Mysterious Ways” by U2.  I sang both of them way too high, but it has taught me to try to sing in a lower key whenever possible.

Later “successes” included “You Might Think” by the Cars, “Losing My Religion” by REM, my brother and I doing a comical version of “Little Lies” by Fleetwood Mac (I can do a passable Stevie Nicks), or my over-the-top impersonation of John Travolta for the song “Sandy” from Grease, which made everybody laugh at various parties.  My usual crowd pleaser is “Love Shack” by the B-52’s, and this month I also sang “(Don’t You) Forget About Me” by Simple Minds, and everyone seemed to really love it.  I get done singing it, and everyone is looking at me with shocked expressions, like they’re stunned that I managed to sing well, and even the DJ tells me “You know… that was really good!”  When they offered Karaoke at church, my sister tells me I should do it, then turns to her friend Kelly, and says “He’s got a good voice.”  She probably wouldn’t ever remember saying that.

I know it seems silly to be that happy about singing Karaoke of all things, but with my background and self-esteem, I need all the pats on the back I can possibly get!  From an impossibly deep-voiced frog of a singer to someone who can actually do pretty good when given the right song sung in the lower registers is quite a leap!  It’s just something I like knowing I can do, so that whenever anybody tells me I can’t sing, I can at least think back to these few accolades and highlights.  I like knowing that some people actually enjoyed some of my singing... on occasion.  Dare I say that I thrive on the attention?

There was really, really sad news this month when my nephew was diagnosed with diabetes, and started daily testing and taking daily shots.  That poor little kid!  I hope he can deal with it okay, especially when the shock of it turns into the horrid realization that this is for real – and as long as he lives, unless they find a cure.  He’s going to have a tough time when the monotony of this sets in:  testing himself four times a day and taking a shot of insulin twice a day for the rest of his entire life!  I worry about how he’s going to feel some day when he has to get up and face four tests and two shots yet again, and no one seems to care or pay attention, because now it’s just normal, and they’ve got their own problems.  His diabetes will be old news in just a few short years, and we’ll all get on with life and new joys and tragedies, while my poor nephew will still have to suffer through four tests and two shots every day!  It makes me very sad to think about it!